seeMOMMYrun.com is a free service that help moms find other walking or running moms in their areas. The site helps the 'everyday athlete' in all of us stay motivated, set goals, and reach them. All seeMOMMYrun groups are kid-friendly and are organized on a volunteer basis.
The mommies in this blog are members of seeMOMMYrun.com.
Turns out, this isn't just a metaphor. Nine days post-partum: My birth went well, no damage to my plumbing, I've been up and moving, well...since giving birth. I delivered at a free standing birth center and was sent home just 6 hours after my boy's arrival - and I was happy to be back in my own bed.
My mother came into town 2 days later. Now, my mother means well, but at 69 years old, her body isn't what it used to be. In fact, she's a wreck. Plagued by manic-depression, she gave up living years ago. Long story short, she can't stand for more 10 minutes, she shakes to much to write, and gets lost going to her mailbox. Frankly, she needs to live in an assisted-living facility, but refuses. What makes it tragic is that she'd rather have a hundred ailments listed on her gravestone than try to take care of herself. This week, I took care of two "infants."
I made her dinner while trying to teach my 2 day old to breastfeed. I helped her buckle her seatbelt after I hooked in my 3 day old into his carseat in order to pick up my 4 1/2 year old from preschool. I unsuccessfully tried to get her to shower while re-diapering my 5 day old.
I'm thankful my birth went well enough that I could keep my family going AND care for my mother. But I'm exhausted. I'm tired and sore and angry that I couldn't take it easy during my son's first week of life. I'm upset that she invited herself into my home for 8 days knowing full well that she couldn't help walk our dog, drive my son to school, help with meals or even clear her own dishes. I'm furious that she came with a runny nose and loud cough - and now my 4 1/2 year old and I have it.
I want to run. I want to strap on my running shoes and refuel with each step. I want to erase my bitterness by sweating it out but I can't. I should have been healing, but I've been up and moving non-stop. After driving my mom to the airport, I'm just now realizing how sore I am. I know I have to walk before I run, but I didn't think walking would be such a challenge. I know it's only been 9 days since a major event - giving birth - but a 20 minute walk shouldn't have been so hard. Maybe I'm just aching because I've lost my mother.
Andrea, I was just going to post a little story about how much I have enjoyed blogging for seeMOMMYrun and about how I'm in such wonderful shape because I form what I will write while I exercise. And then I was going to sign off and invite somebody else to become a blogger for your site so that she might also experience the personal transformation that takes place.
Then I realized that I should probably talk to you about it first, to let you know before the rest of the world. While a blogger for your site, I can honestly say I became a different, improved, healthier person. The process of blogging about one's efforts to be a mother as well as somebody else is transformative.
I am still going to post that little story I mentioned above, I might just post the body of this email. I can't wait to follow the experiences of the next blogger(s).
So, thanks! I hope we are able to meet each other in person some day.
This evening's spectacle, down a quiet little neighborhood street:
My 4-year-old boy riding a WAY-TOO-BIG bike recovered from a dumpster whose training wheels screeched like fingernails down a chalkboard; all the while he was growling screaming out car engine sounds and pretending to get blown-out tires.
Next to him: me and my 23 week pregnant belly slogging* along soaked in sweat, chanting "Go Lightning McQueen Go!" or "Peet Stop"** in a really bad Italian accent or "Bring on the confetti!"***
You, a mother who finds time to fit in runs between diaper changes, or feedings, or driving your kids to soccer practice. You, who was so busy looking for your family when you crossed the finish line that you forgot to stop your watch . You, who stayed up until midnight to make tomorrow's school lunches so you'd have time in the morning for a tempo run. You, who carries all your running partners keys and water bottles in your stroller because you've got room.
You are pretty cool...and inspiring. And I'm sure you've got some running tips you've discovered along the way that other moms would find interesting.
Marathon Mama wants to hear from you. She's writing the book we've all been waiting to read.
The purpose of the book is to illustrate the ways that running and motherhood transform each other. The book looks at the connections that mother-runners draw between these two aspects of their lives, in terms of their day-to-day experience, identities, and sense of community.
The Not-So-Obvious List of How to Pack for a Music Festival with a Small Child
Taking a small child to a festival can sound pretty scary. There's the heat**, expensive unhealthy food, the question of napping and all the freaky people (if it's a good one). But I think it's really rewarding to dance in a field with your child, if you are prepared. In fact, I substituted it for my long run on Sunday.
While looking online to see if I'd forgotten anything, I found no help in getting ready. So, in a change from my usual posting, I've decided to write down a few things I've learned in the last 3 years of parenting-at-festivals. In addition to the usual (sunblock, water, hat), these few items can fit into a backpack (except the final two, of course).
(random video from youtube, this cute boy isn't mine)
Food: I don't care that festivals don't allow food. I always pack a small lunch box, aim for the security queue with a woman who looks like a mother and hope she'll know there is no joy is spending 12 hours with a toddler living on corndogs & coke. Pack an apple, a banana, a PBJ, ziplock bag of raisins/nuts/dried fruit, an applesauce & mini spoon, a few boxes of Parmalat (boxed milk), water cup. Add a granola bar for you or whatever you need to keep you from your own melt down when you're tired and sick of waiting in the burrito line for 45 minutes. Bringing food for your kid is legit - they know you'll still spend money on beer and kettle corn.
Earplugs/Studio Headphones: It's so very loud, even in the back, so cover those ears so you have at least the option of heading up front with the wee one. Great for naps, too. If you don't have studio headphones or Bose sound canceling headphones, bring several pairs of the foam plugs since they are easy to lose (and oh so cheap, and I guarantee you'll be asked by another desperate-looking mother if you've got extra).
2 changes of kids clothes in Gallon Ziplocks: tightly folded in large ziplock - put everything in it's own ziplock. When the chaos of the fest hits, individual see through bags make it easy to sift through. The ziplocks can be used to hold trash later.
Pajamas: tightly folded in large ziplock. Dress kid in PJ's as you leave venue & pray for sleep on ride home. Leave 'em in the car if the walk/ride back to your ride isn't too long.
Blinky Light: Put on kid when sun starts to go down and so (s)he won't beg you to buy a $12 glow toy.
Camera/Cell phone/Pen: Take photo of kid when you get to fest so if/when (s)he gets lost you say to staff (s)he looks exactly like this. I have a ribbon that has our info on it that I safety pin to the back of my kid's clothes and when I forget it, I just write my phone number on his arm.
Folding Beach Mat: I've recently discovered the absolute beauty of one of these folding mats. Not only is it totally compact & easy to fold, but you can sit in wet grass without getting wet. And if it rains or gets mud on it, it cleans up and dries quickly.
Small squirt Bottle: Because it's hot & water makes it tolerable. Besides, it's an activity.
One small imagination toy: like a truck, a couple matchbox cars, an inflatable ball, doll, or a shovel.
Jogging stroller: You need giant wheels to get you through the grass, mud and rugged terrain of a festival. You need a place for your child to nap. You need instant shade. If emptied of valuables, it can be left anywhere. No one is going to steal it (people leave tents, blankets and chairs near stages, your stoller is no different).
Prepped Car: Leave behind in the car a bottle of water (because you'll never be able to find water once you leave), bedtime stuff (blankie/animals/box of milk) and change of clothes for you . Keep an extra snack/sandwich/munchie for the ride home. You might want to have wipes (for a hippie bath) and a pillow.
Anyhow - If it sounds like a lot, it really isn't. I haven't ventured camping at a fest with my boy, yet, but that's more because I can't talk his dad into it. And of course, I only have one, so I'm sure it's easier than it would be with more children.
I'm curious to learn your "Big Event" packing strategies. Go on, share.
**I live in South Florida where the comment about heat makes sense. For all you folks up North, this is your "In preparation for Spring/Summer" preview.
The local news had run a feature inviting girls from the area to submit applications as to why their mother should be Mom of the Year and, initially, I was very excited. Until, that is, I actually tried to think of reasons why my mother should be Mom of the Year. In my eyes, a child's eyes, there was no doubt that she was Mom of the Year, but in society's eyes, well, I had to admit, she didn't have much to offer. The truth of it was, and is, that single mom's of three children whose kids go to school hungry and wearing the same clothes as they had worn the day before, aren't exactly Mom's of the Year. That mom's like mine, who opted out of meet the teacher night and who never baked cookies or accompanied the class on a field trip weren't the sort of mom's who earned honors. The realization brought with it quite a bit of shame--shame for myself and shame for my mother. At that moment I knew that I wanted to be Mom of the Year. That when my time came, my child(ren) would have a Mom of the Year. And here I am now! I won't lie. It's been a bumpy ride. Like water following a groove, I have been tempted by mediocrity and I've had to teach myself and learn by default many things that I think other kids were taught--I don't know. But I've also taught myself and learned by default many things that other kids weren't taught for the simple reason that they had a Mom of the Year and I'm pretty sure that's what the whole trip has been about.
